How freaking cool is George Clooney?
He is James Bond, shaken not stirred.
He is Clint Eastwood, do you feel lucky punk.
He is Elvis Presley, before the sequined jump suit.
Tonight I am watching the American.
Clooney is a hit man in Italy.
He is silver haired distinguished. He is dark eyed cool. He is chiseled handsome with a 2 day stubble of beard.
Men want to be him. Women want to be with him.
When you see George Clooney, you are looking at the top of the pyramid of cool dudes.
Everything below him is pedestrian, regular, dare I say – uglier.
Now I’m not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I’m just saying. Some dudes have it and some dudes don’t.
Whenever you see George Clooney on the red carpet he is flanked by a statuesque blond. They smile that supermodel smile and look great on his arm. They dress him up like tinsel dresses up a Christmas Tree.
The cameras love them, but mostly they love George.
GC is Hollywood royalty. He commands attention. He looks great in a tuxedo, like James Bond in Casino royal.
As Stewart Scott likes to say, “he’s cooler than the other side of the pillow.”
GC looked like a dufus in high school. His year book picture looks like burger flipper and white wall tire guy had a child.
Early in his career, Clooney had a mullet and he looked like a car hop at Sonic.
Don’t hate GC. Thank GC for giving every dork in America hope.
That’s because Clooney was a dweeb. He didn’t have that pretty boy Brad Pitt look right out of the gate.
He was kind of a schmuck that grew into himself.
I think the thing about G.C. is that he is GQ. He is not too thin or too built or too young. He is none of the above. He is sort of an every man type, just the Ferrari version of the every man model.
I can see why women like him. He is genuine and intelligent. He probably says excuse me after he belches when he’s by himself.
You know he holds the door for his dates. But I also bet he can throw down tequila shots with the boys, and that says a lot about a man.
I’m just saying.
This movie – the American – is not that good, but George Clooney is compelling. He is a good actor and a better movie star. I keep watching mostly because I feel it would be rude of me to shut Mr. Clooney off.
While the rest of us go to the super market and buy a powerball ticket hoping to win the lottery. We can sleep better at night knowing that F***ing George Clooney was all ready there and all ready won the sexiest man alive jackpot.
A story about George Clooney?
Man I better turn in my man card.
Damn!
I gotta farmer blow snot out of my nose and change the oil in my car to reaffirm my manhood.
Next week a story about my favorite sports illustrated swim suit model of all time: Christie Brinkley.
Yowser!
Life’s Crazy™