You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
TWEETER – PORN; That’s crazy!
Porn on the internet is Like a fungus. It grows in the salacious darkness. It is BJ’s and three-ways and sex videos on demand. And now word that pornography has infiltrated the harmonic, ever-lasting gob-stopper that is TWITTER. Porn has arrived and defecated on the site’s robin egg blue mast head.
If you are my dad’s age, you might not know TWITTER. If you listened to the radio broadcasts of the Lone Ranger as a kid, then social networking may be as foreign to you as transistor is to a modern day 10 year old.
To the uninitiated, TWITTER is like an email you can send from home or your PDA to other members on TWITTER.
TWITTER is often used by members to send important updates in your day like: I feel like a cloud. The baby just crapped his diaper. The cat is barfing up a hairball. The wife has another headache, where’s the hand lotion?
Twitter is like a cyber zit. You pop it quickly and without much thought. It sprays a little TWEET juice onto the mirror and you move on.
TWITTER has all the life relevance of soggy newspaper.
TWITTER is an excellent opportunity to rear end the car in front of you as you were TWEETING: Interstate moving smoothly…..BAM!
I guess if you need to let everyone know you lost your thong in the coin laundry, TWITTER is your medium. If you are compelled to blurt out that you are vacuuming today and you’d rather be cheating on your husband, TWEET to your heart’s content.
Once upon a time, TWEETING was pure like Candy Land. Now it is crossing over to the dark side where you need a body condom just to open your account.
Al Gore didn’t realize, once he created the INTERNET, he would also unleash a atomic blast of easily down loadable PORN.
If you are connected to the internet via dial up, DSL or NASA endorsed Satellite connectivity, then you are pretty much fishing on a Ethernet Lake stocked with an endless cess pool of smut.
At first Twitter seemed to navigate by this sludge.
Just look at the lovely masthead at the top of the TWITTER HOME PAGE. Life is always springtime here. There’s a sweet little love bird sitting on a branch set against a light blue sky. It all seems so tranquil, so innocent. so socially acceptable and pure.
Pure only lasts so long. Just ask Adam. How well did that “don’t eat the apple thing” work out?
TWITTER is no different, having become a rocket sled to pornography. Now you can tweet harder and faster and all of it in less than 140 key strokes.
I guess I’m old school, so TWEETING about three ways on TWITTER just seems wrong. It’s like putting a sex toy into your kid’s Christmas stocking. It’s like combing your cat with your toothbrush. It’s like scraping your kid’s diaper and making him wear it a 2nd time to save money.
WRONG WRONG WRONG.
What started out innocently enough has begun to cascade into a naked barrage of requests from mystery followers.
People like Chuckie 69 and Mary Ann Manhandle and Peter piper pulled his peter are all requesting to be my new B.F.F.
I consider myself a polite TWEETER. If you make the effort to follow me, then I should probably reciprocate and follow you back. If someone let’s you cut into traffic on the interstate, you wave and smile and say thanks, right? Same premise.
It was this wholesome ideal that encouraged me to click on the tiny square next to mistress Maggie. Her innocuous icon looked friendly enough. But honestly, These squares are smaller than your bosses heart, so who can really see them? So I click on Mistress Maggie’s icon and BAM! suddenly I am getting images of men on men, women on women, goats on donkeys. Larry Flynt would be embarrassed.
I mean Ernie is doing Bert making him scream out letters of the ALPHABET. Who is your
D*A*D*D *Y? Damn! Sesame street gone doggie style! It’s just wrong, in a public television kind of way.
Anyway, after a few days, I unclicked Mistress Maggie, though she still Tweets me from time to time to ask how it’s hanging.
To quote a story I read on MSNBC: Ethan Zuckerman’s “Cute Cat Theory of Digital Activism” includes the hypothesis that any decent Internet outlet where users can participate will attract porn and activists.
“If there’s no porn, the tool doesn’t work,” it states. “If there are no activists, it doesn’t work well.”
Maybe that simple premise sums it up. As Confucius say: It’s the cyber Ying and Yang of life. To the Otis Elevator Company, For every up there is a down. To Albert Einstein: For every positive internet connection there is an equal and opposite connection to SMUT.
The article adds: Indeed, unique visitors to the microblogging site catapulted from 475,000 in February 2008 up 1,382 percent to 7 million in 2009, according to Nielsen Online.
Per Zuckerman, if it’s on the Internet, somebody will try to porn it up. Why do you think Wikipedia is monitored 24/7? The second someone looks away, somebody else tries to turn it into Pornapedia. You can’t fight 50 ka–jillion years of evolution.
As someone once said: if you can’t beat em join em. And as Mistress Maggie says:
“If you can’t beat em, blow em”
Only 29 characters.
TWEET-A-LICIOUS!
Now that is crazy!