You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
4th of July commercialism.
The Fourth is America’s birthday. It’s about patriotism and pie. It’s about founding fathers and fire works. It’s about Independence and Hot Dog eating contests.
The 4th of July is sparklers and the beach and bar b que with all the fixings.
The 4th is a cold one, a hot one, and one right down the middle.
STRIKE.
The fourth of July is Joey Chestnut cramming 62 hot dogs down his esophagus in 10 minutes. What a barf -a- thon. No wonder the guy is sponsored by Pepto Bismol. Only in America.
But I’m sitting here on the 4th of July watching Good Morning America and I quickly see that the 4th of July is all of the above and it’s about selling crap. All kinds of crap. Crap of all dimensions and colors and styles and prices.
Sofa’s 4 times less than the competition.
A red white and blue discount on Orthodontics.
A guy dressed like the statute of liberty selling me mattresses in the most patriotic deal that any American can offer to any other American.
I made the mistake of calling Home Depot the other day and asking “Are you guys open on the Fourth?”
She screams to her co-workers.
“Hey this guy wants to know if we’re open on the Fourth of July?”
I hear laughing and booing.
“Yep. We’re open. All day,” she says matter of factly.
I feel like the guy in the room whose zipper is down.
“OK thanks,” i say sheepishly.
And there it is.
Should I want to blow off roman candles then paint a house, or ignite m-80’s and then replace the PVC pipes under my rental home, what better day than the 4th of July.
How convenient. I could eat American Pie and patronize a local business at the same time.
Red White and Blue? Don’t kid yourself. It’s about the green. And it doesn’t matter if it is made in the USA or not.
Sofas, mattresses, electronics.
You name it and it’s for sale.
And that’s America, even if it’s made over seas.
So go out and buy your Japanese manufactured flat screen. Grab a beer brewed in Holland. Eat a burger invented in Germany. Smother the whole thing with French Fries. Cram it all down your pie hole and wipe with a napkin that looks like the American Flag.
Have fun. Feel patriotic. Spend money. Go USA.
It’s the 4th of July.
No rules. No expectations. Freedom to be free.
That’s what we fought for.
That’s what makes us America.
And that’s crazy.™