You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
Getting zapped by electricity six times!
That’s OK if you are a spark plug. It’s normal if you are a pork chop in a microwave. But flesh and bones?
DATELINE: SENECA,South Carolina
It’s here that Melvin Roberts was struck by lightning for the sixth time.
The 59 year old was reportedly outside his house covering his lawnmower when the bolt from the sky lit him up like a Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Plaza.
The man’s wife tells a local TV station this is the sixth time her husband has been illuminated like an Xray.
What’s the attraction?
Is the man’s skeletal system an erector set? Is he wearing aluminum foil briefs? Are his fillings made of semi conductors? Is there a metallic disk in his head? Does he have unusually high iron in his blood?
What the hell gets most of us lit up by lightning zero times and Melvin struck 6 times?
Is God mad at Melvin? Is he some sort of intergalactic gateway in time? Is Melvin the worm hole that Einstein theorized?
Roberts said the last time he was struck by lightning was in 2007 while trying to protect his chicken coop.
“I went to cover my chickens up, and I believe it was clear. But when I woke up, I was all bloody and burned and confused and had my little chickens lying with their feet up,” he said.
Lucky it didn’t leave Melvin like burnt toast on the side of the coop, chickens pecking his fixed and dilated eye balls out of his steaming skull.
“I ain’t saying be afraid of it, but I’m going to have to learn to give it a little respect. It can happen to anybody,” said Roberts.
No Melvin. It doesn’t happen to anybody. It only happens to you. I don’t know anyone who has been struck by lightning. I get a little static cling when I don’t use a dryer sheet, but that’s about the worst of my electrical shock problems.
6 lightning strikes? Happen to anybody? Hardly.
And Melvin says it is only a coincidence that his 6 misfortunes with lightning have coincided with his marriages.
“I’ve been married five times and I’ve been hit by lightning five times. (My wife) says this is the sixth time. I’m not leaving my wife, so I’m going to have to try to do something different.”
So there it is. Proof that marriage is dangerous to your health.
And that is crazy.