You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
This headline: What’s in your meat?
It sounds like Mexican Porn, but it is not.
It’s an abc news investigation and it is compelling.
The graphic over Diane Sawyers’ shoulder is disgusting. At first I think it is a sun burned George Stephanopoulous.
I quickly see that its close up chunks of hamburger. They look like bloody gerbil pellets.
The story begins with meat grinding onto a butcher’s tray. It looks like thick spaghetti filled with red dye number 2.
The story indicates that a large percentage of hamburger on your grocer’s shelf right now is loaded with a filler known as pink slime.
Just the phrase Pink Slime starts to turn my stomach. It is disgusting.
It is a bovine blow out sale. It is all the extra stuff that should never be consumed by Americans. It’s the by products from the meat trimming business. It’s fat and muscle and scraps of heinous smelly whatever. It should all be thrown in a dumpster or served as a main course in Thailand. Take your pick.
Instead, the meat industry, collects this gelatinous goo, that looks like jelly fish scum washed up on the Jersey Shore.
They spin this disgusting coagulating mess in a centrifuge. It is like a hideous science experiment where they try to separate the phloem from the meat from the waste product. It is an assortment of goo that starving coyotes would eye suspiciously.
Then the real shocker. The report says; to render pink slime safe, and bacteria free, they spray the product with ammonia to disinfect it.
That’s right, they spray the whole thing down with the equivalent of Mr. Clean.
It’s as if meat janitors come by with a mop and bucket of sanitizing agent cleansing your ground round so you can eat it without dieing.
Nice.
Then the USDA sanctioned meat is sent off to grocery stores around the country where it is mixed into real hamburger like a patch work quilt.
The pink slime is like decomposing worms that wriggle and slither,
entangling themselves with the 100 percent beef.
When it is all done, your butcher has created an indistinguishable meat medley of mayhem.
It sounds like something from a Ridley Scott movie.
It is disgusting to think that I could be chewing a burger and digesting ammonia and jelly fish slime and something that space aliens excreted.
I’m vomiting on my keyboard right now.
The abc report asks, why is this not illustrated on the label. Why won’t the butcher say this hamburger is 70% meat and 30% gelatinous dumpster refuse?
And better yet, why does the United States Department of Agriculture allow the beef industry to continue doing this?
Hey USDA How can this be OK? I understand using a grinder to make hamburger? But a centrifuge?
Do we need to inoculate ourselves against this slime? Will it give us tuberculosis? Will we need to be treated for syphilis after eating a cheese burger?
What has the world come to when we have to grind cow muscle and hoof ligaments into something digestible just to make a pound of ground round go farther? It’s like hamburger helper for the meat industry. It’s all about money, not safety.
abc news asked the USDA for a comment and the agency refused. The agency sworn to protect us refused to comment about safety. That’s telling.
The American Meat Institute rolled out a VP Troll who sounded incensed when asked why there is not more information on the label?
Janet Riley said; “It is beef!,” her voice crackling like a circus clown high on nitrous. “It is on the label! This is beef, it is beef, it is beef!” she reiterates sounding like a kindergarten kid stomping her feet and holding her breath. “It’s a beef product. We do declare it it is beef.”
Hey USDA. I was going to grill some burgers this weekend. Not anymore. I think I’ll throw a chop on the coals. It’s the other white meat.
Anybody got a centrifuge?
And that is crazy.™