You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
A time magazine cover of a woman breast feeding her almost 4 year old son.
The Kid looks like a little monkey hanging on to a succulent kumquat. He’s latched onto his mom’s nipple like a GPS suction cup stuck to a windshield.
The little boy is wearing army fatigues and standing on a chair. He is nursing with a stoic Clint Eastwood squint on his face. It makes me think he is going into battle against some sort of mammary militia.
Instead of tossing back a shot of whiskey, he’s sucking down a cheek full of warm mom milk.
The cover is so controversial, I expect PETA protesters to show up and throw blood on it.
The image is provocative and will not only divide parenting experts, but it will divide a nation.
Natural vs Obscene.
The Head Line reads: are you mom enough?
The provocative cover addresses the issue of breast feeding. It questions how far is too far. How long is too long.
I wonder how the issue would play if a tiny Don Rickels was standing on that chair, sucking on the young hot mom, her chest exposed, in a way that seems anything but maternal.
The Headline could be? Hot moms and the senile comedians they date.
But I digress….
The issue is controversial, but the picture is incendiary. And it is the photo that has people talking.
The kid looks old. He looks like he can tie his shoes and wipe his own butt. He looks totally capable of opening the fridge and pouring himself a glass of milk.
He looks old enough to chew a grizzled steak.
How many times do you think mammary mom has had to say “no teeth Junior!”
Rule One: Any time you have to tell your nursing baby no teeth, and chew your steak, it’s time to move on to the next stage of
child hood development.
The issue is interesting, but it has been pushed to the forefront of the national equation because the photo is so shocking.
It’s a pregnant Demi Moore sitting naked and cross legged on the floor. It is shot in such a way that it is tasteful, yet hard to look away.
Whoever conceptualized the cover should get a pat on the back, perhaps a free squirt of deliciously warm mother’s milk.
When the economy should be at the heart of every national debate, now, suckling at the tit is a lead story. It is the focal point of late night monologues. It has set mommy blogs set aflame.
The hot mom on the cover is Jamie Grumet. She is 26, blond, beautiful, and slender like a sexy gazelle.
She says she posed for the picture because she wanted to make breast feeding a normal option for a child, something that should not be stigmatized.
I wonder how her son will handle all the attention later in life. That’s a tough photo to live down in 1st grade.
“Hey kid. Aren’t you the mammary warrior?”
Brings a whole new meaning to the concept of mama’s boy.
The woman on the cover has been lauded by some and threatened by others.
Some have actually said they are going to call the department of children’s services on her.
For what? Letting her child nurse?
Some have called it sexual molestation.
Relax Mr. and Mrs. Uptight America. I’m pretty sure she is not molesting her child.
It is her 3-and-a-half year old son. And whether you think he should be nursing at this stage of life or not is her business, not yours.
Again, it’s the picture. The picture is the flash point. A child non chalantly hanging on a woman’s breast. It’s provocative and has done what a good cover is intended to do. It has prompted sales, generated click thrus and stirred debate.
When asked about all the anger and threats, Grumet says; “I think it is a lot of ignorance so its hard to get mad. It is mammary glands and this is what they were designed for.”
Grumet says her son will nurse till he weens himself. She says she herself nursed till she was six.
When asked about nursing; “It is the most safe and nurturing place and you feel loved,” she says.
The American Academy of Pediatrics says nursing for 1 year is recommend. The world health organization says 2 years and beyond is recommendded for breastfeeding.
Some doctors question the emotional value “between the ages of 1 and 3 a child is looking to develop as an individual and learns to separate,” Dr Richard Besser says.
So the cover is effective and the issue is being debated.
Ultimately the decision of how long to nurse is a private one.
Frankly, I’m waiting for the Don Rickels cover photo.
Now that would be an arrestable offense.
And that is crazy.