You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Jay Cutler singing take me out to the ball game.
It wasn’t Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem but it was close
Jay Cutler sounded like some lizard lounge crooner stoned on ludes.
If Frank Sinatra’s rancid corpse could rise from the crypt and belt out a song, this is what it might sound like.
Most major league teams sing take me out to the ball game in the middle of the 7th inning.
The Cubs have a tradition of allowing celebrities to lead the crowd in that song.
The talent level is usually that of a microwaved hot dog.
Saturday it turned into warm gum on the bottom of your shoe.
Can you say hello Jay Cutler?
The Chicago Bears Quarterback is low key to begin with. Put a Cubs jersey on him, and hand him a microphone? Nothing good can come from this.
The song was so distorted, so freakishly altered, I thought that time had slowed. Jay Cutler singing is what it must sound like as you enter into a worm hole disappearing into another dimension.
Watching Sports Center repeatedly on a lazy Sunday morning, I have seen the Bears QB 3 times now. Each time is more horrific than the last. The first time you hear Jay sing it’s a train wreck. The next time it’s a building imploding. The third time is a baby with colic in the net row on the red eye.
Jay Cutler singing? This is what it must sound like when Hump Back Whales mate. Cutler sounds like he is burping up bratwurst.
I’ve been to karaoke bars full of Cossacks who carry a better tune.
It’s all in fun, but at what point do the Cubs draw the line on the procession of celebrities who sing?
At what point does it get so bad, so dangerous to young ear canals in the crowd, that the guest singer is banished to the showers?
There should be a test. Make the applicant sing the alphabet song. If they can remember all the letters in succession and carry the tune then give them the microphone, other wise NO SOUP FOR YOU.
I’m pretty sure Jay Cutler would have failed this test and we would be spared this embarrassing display of vocal sadness.
Buy him some peanuts and Cracker Jacks and I don’t care if Jay ever goes back.
And that is crazy.™