You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
The iphone 5.
Don’t’ get me wrong I really like the iphone. It does everything but act as a luffa in the shower…
But the way they are promoting it makes me feel like a sailor on Liberty in Vietnam. I wonder if I am getting ripped off.
Serie love you long time. Boom Boom Sailor.
By and large, Serie is stupid and rarely accomplishes what I need. I don’t know what Samuel L. Jackson does to get the bitch to make him bread, and book his hotel rooms in Seattle, but it doesn’t work that way for me.
Marty Scorscesi knows where his production assistant is in New York City, and a kid learns to play the guitar thanks to his iphone.
Me? I talk to a person while driving with the radio on and get yelled at later for being a jerk.
I said something like: that was a tasty beer thanks
it came out. I am a sex offender and I am attracted to farm animals.
Go figure.
Lesson learned. What I am really sick of is the hoopla surrounding the iphone 5.
Apple is brilliant. They have moved past bannana as the number one fruit on the evolutionary food chain.
They are the most powerful company on the planet. I can’t argue with their success.
But they are corporately arrogant. They are a bully. They own the ball and if they don’t like the rules they are going home.
I think they need to sober up from their corporate bacchanalia and realize they can’t hold us hostage and dictate terms.
It’s just a phone. It’s just a product. right now it’s just a better mouse trap.
It’s a good product. No it’s a great product. But it will never replaced the female reproductive system, OK. I’m just saying!
And the promotion of the iphone 5 is ludicrous. It is cumbersome. It is bothersome. It is burdensome.
It started weeks ago. They float out a ghost that hints at the release of a new product.
iphone 5.
whisper.
People get in line. The whispers turn to shouts. The shouts lead to stories on the news.
Suddenly the rage of blood to the wallet and brain becomes ferocious, undeniable, and you are forced to stand in line in front of an iphone store on Madison Avenue in NYC.
Yikes.
The product is more popular than gold or porn. Every teenager and octogenarian must have one. Factories in China are going balls to the wall to churn out circuit boards. Asian women are having more babies so they can stand on an assembly line and produce more iphones.
Crooks drive through store fronts and smash and grab and steal the product that has more value than a hooker with a heart.
And then when you buy your telecommunicative crack cocaine, you find out, it has a lot of flaws. The maps are bad only to be displayed on a larger screen. Suddenly the Grand Canyon is a bikini waxing shop in queens.
I don’t know.
It’s a good product. I just don’t like their arrogance shoving their iphone fist down my throat forcing me to think i need it like i need oxygen.
I don’t need it. I do need oxygen. There is a difference.
So Go buy an iphone. I don’t give a damn. Just be civil about it. And let the company know to relax, mellow out, don’t punch us in the gut every time they want to sell me a new power cord.
and that is crazy.™