You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
The passion and energy flowing out of my TV screen for tonight’s National Championship game.
The talk, the BS, the analysis, the game of the ages jargon. Finally it is time to put on the gloves and see whose got game and whose going home the biggest loser in the land.
You see making it to the big game is one thing. Losing the Big Game is quite another.
People don’t remember that you made it and you had a great season and you were 12-0. People remember you made it to the final arena of battle and you either stood victorious or you laid down like a punk ass bitch.
So I begin watching the game like millions of you and here is what I see.
Alabama comes out of the gate smoking. The team drives 82 yards against a ND defense that hasn’t allowed more than a 75 yard drive all year. Bama caps it off with a 20 yard TD run. ND hasn’t given up many of those either.
Oh oh. You can almost feel the angst coming out of South Bend.
Quickly it’s 7-0 Tide.
The crowd is still out of it’s mind. The energy level is at fever pitch. The game is so forceful it is blowing through my tv.
Wow.
Every play seemingly has importance. Every touch has the crowd oohing and ahhing.
Suddenly there’s a muffed fair catch. Bama loses the ball. ND recovers. The call goes against ND. The boos rain down upon the field. It’s loud and angry in South Beach.
Brent Musburger goes crazy saying the call is horrendous. They come back from commercial break and they interview a former official about the call. He says the refs got it right.
“They got it right, OK,” Musburger says.
6:14 gone in the first quarter and Bama scores an easy TD pass. The Fighting Irish look shell shocked.
Somewhere TD Jesus is frowning.
ND doesn’t let up easy touchdowns and it’s now 14-0 Bama.
Will ND respond? Tide are rolling. The crowd is still amped, but there is a storm cloud brewing.
Brent Musburger again goes berserk, calling for the leprechaun to show himself.
Then in the moment of the night, Brent Musburger proves he is high on his own after shave.
The camera zooms into the girlfriend of Bama QB, AJ McCarron.
“She goes to Auburn” he says. “but whoa, she is a good looking women.”
WTF?
Did I just hear Brent Musburger oogle the Bama QB’s hot girlfriend in front of 50 million people?
Yes I did.
You would expect him to shut his mouth, let the moment pass unceremoniously. Instead the iconic announcer trips over his tongue, and says “all young boys should get out there and start throwing the rock so you can get a beautiful woman like that.”
Wow. What a freak.
There is awkward quiet in the booth as Kirk Herbstreit must be wondering, is my broadcast partner smoking bath salts.
3 drives and the Crimson Tide looks like a well oiled machine. They are carving Notre Dame alive like carp on a dock.
Another 80 yard drive. TD!
Gang green looks nauseous.
Kirk Herbstreit says “Notre Dame just can’t do anything right.”
They are down 21 points. It’s only the 1st quarter.
“The Fighting Irish have to respond”, Musburger says.
But can they? They are playing against a power house team that is well rested and prepared.
Suddenly with 3 quarters left to play, you start wondering if this is going to be one of those big build up games with no pay off.
Then suddenly Golson, the ND quarterback, throws a strike to Daniels over the middle, and the crowd senses a spark.
“A TD would be huge for this ND team,” Musburger says.
An understatement to be sure.
The crowd roars. It’s hard to tell who is screaming louder.
Three possessions and Brian Kelly says screw it – it’s fourth and five and we gotta go for it.
The ball is floated down the field and the Bama corner backs swat it away.
The ball is turned over on downs. Another sign from the heavens that Catholics are in big trouble.
The announcers sense this ball game getting away. They are urging ND to play hard, to stand firm. There’s more than just a national championship riding on this game. There are millions and millions of advertising dollars based on ratings. If the game is over early, it could spell a lot of tv sets being turned off.
At 11:45 into the 2nd: Bama finally punts.
“Maybe for ND, the return man can get something going,” Musburger says urging the golden domers on.
A friend of mine called this game the battle of good versus evil. In his mind, ND is good, Bama is evil. I asked why. Because the SEC is dirty he says. Because ND graduates practically all their football players, he says.
Really? Good vs Evil.
You could easily argue that both schools are all about football excellence. Both programs are about wins. And when you have a TV network devoted to you, like ND does with NBC, don’t try and tell me it’s not about the money. Sadly, college football is all about the money.
But this game is also about entertainment and building into the game of the century, and right now, it appears that ND didn’t get the script.
ND’s quarterback is running for his life on almost every snap.
He is under siege. He looks like a cork in a stormy red sea that is turbulently slamming him over and over and over.
Kirk Herbstreit repeatedly calls out ND Linebacker Mantei Te’O saying he is missing tackles.
Nothing is going ND’s way. They look lost.
And suddenly insult to injury. Team captain, Lewis Moore a 306 pound defensive end goes down. He is writhing in pain on the ground. His right leg is hanging awkwardly.
With :31 seconds to go, Bama fires another TD pass.
28-0. It’s a Bama blood bath.
The Crimson Tide fans are shrieking in the stands. The ND fans are hiding their heads in their hands.
“If this was a prize fight, they’d call it off,” Musburger says.
You can feel the ESPN producers wincing. The game sucks. It’s not competitive. It’s late in the East and it would be easy to turn the tv off and watch the highlights tomorrow on SportsCenter.
How bad is it?
The ND coach is asked how his team can rebound in the second half.
Brian Kelly says “Maybe Alabama won’t come back out in the 2nd half.”
It’s so honest, it is funny.
If it is indeed Good Vs. Evil. Evil is kicking Good’s ass.
Half time commentary from everyone is brutal.
By mid way through the third quarter, ND players are limping off the field. You feel sorry for ND. You wonder what happened? How much better is Bama? Apparently a lot better.
The Dynasty word starts to surface.
“There is a confused defense right there,” Herbstreit says of the Irish. “The Tide continue to embarrass this ND defense.”
Cut a ways of the ND crowd are hard to look at. They appear to be shocked.
35-0.
The only question now is will Tuscaloosa survive the night?
When will the fires start? Will the fans riot as so many stupid fans do?
Some have billed this contest as Catholics Vs Cousins.
Perhaps there will be some cousin kissing in T town.
They are reportedly Evil, right?
Late into the 3rd period; Notre Dame finally scores. Domers celebrate. They avoid the shut out.
If only this was the 1st quarter.
I went to a national championship game a long time ago. My team, lost. It was horrible. I had to sit there and listen to the Texas Long Horns sing their song. It’s harder to go to the end and lose.
Notre Dame fans will forever mourn this national beat down.
“what a road kill,” Musburger screams with 11 minutes to go.
The game is a gigantic yawner. I have turned it off now several times. I have checked the news. Looked at Facebook. I check Twitter. The immediacy of thought is brutal and brilliant.
Check it out, but always remember, life’s crazy.