You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Six thousand spiders in one 2,400 square foot home.
So many spiders crawling on each other, undulating as one gigantic, disgusting, super spider.
6,000 spiders oozing, slithering, sneaking, swinging.
Oh my God. It’s a horrific thought, a new horror film, only its real.
The spiders now live in an abandoned home that is also in foreclosure.
The owners bought it and then moved out. How could they stay? They would be spun in a web and hung up in the basement to rot.
Now the bank owns the spider house and its at the heart of a law suit over what an insurance company considers structural damage.
Sad spider tale this is.
All that aside, the image of 6,000 spiders on the carpet, under the carpet, in the fibers, in the couch, in the light bulbs and air grates, it’s mind boggling.
Spiders and more spiders on top of spiders.
Itsy bitsy spiders and nasty creepy crawling spiders and brown recluse spiders fill this domicile of disgust.
The couple paid almost half a million dollars for this golf course property in Missouri only to learn the house was a pulsating den of arachnids.
Can you imagine going to bed with 6,000 spiders sharpening their 48,000 claws around you.
They hover over you. They stare at you with their multiple bulbous eyes.
6,000 home invaders, waiting to wrap you in a cacoon of excreted filth.
6,000 spiders eye balling you with venomous delight, pondering how to slowly eat you a molecule at a time for the rest of the year.
6,000 spiders with 48,000 tiny, hairy little spider legs scurrying in the darkness.
6,000 hairy, hideous spiders, eating and walking and living and excreting on top of one another.
The filthy, sinsister insectoids looking to scurry, to eat, to spin a web and catch a 1,000 flies.
Can you imagine living in this evil home, some spider black hole from Hell where arachnids are compelled to congregate, like salmon swimming up stream or penguins marching to the sea.
It’s a terrible story of home ownership.
This home was built by the devil and now it is inhabited by sinister misunderstood predators.
6,000 spiders creepy crawling in one living space. It’s enough to make you want to run and bathe with a can of Raid.
Can you imagine living among them, with them. What does it sound like when 6,000 spiders gnash their little spider fangs all day and all night.
Spiders falling out of the ceiling, coming through the floor boards, emerging from the drains, from the curtains, the couches, the carpet.
Spiders are not cool like Peter Parker. They are not heroic like spiderman. If they bite you, your skin swells up and you get sick.
Spiders are predatory and prehistoric and should stay in the trees, in caves, under ground.
Brian and Susan Trost purchased the home in the summer of 2007 for $450,000.
According to published reports, the spider problem started soon after they moved in with spiders spinning webs and scurrying across counter tops.
The Trosts moved out and the home went into foreclosure:
Recently a pest control company pumped 200 pounds of sulfuryl fluoride gas into a tent surrounding the home. It was cooled to 67 degrees below zero.
Did it kill the spiders? Who knows? Can you really ever kill spiders? They have 9 lives and 8 legs and a ferocious need to live in this house.
I don’t think that 200 pounds of plutonium would be enough to render this house spider-safe for the next family.
I was reading that in cambodia spiders, expressly tarantulas are considered a delicacy.
You realize Cambodians are crazy.
According to a web site promoting the 10 reasons to love spiders: spiders eat more insects than birds. I’m not sure I care.
Everything in moderation.
6,000 of anything in one house is a problem.
It’s bad for the homeowners. It’s bad for the insurance company. It’s bad, frankly for the spiders.
A couple of spiders in the crawl space? Nobody is blowing -67 degree anything up your spider skirt.
But when you are the arachnid portal of exixtence and every demonic spider in the world is summoned to convene in one living room in Missouri, well that is an omen of things to come.
I don’t know what sulfuryl fluoride does, but I suspect it will not kill 6,000 spiders sent from Hell.
This is a sign, that some things are crazy, unexplainable, creepy.
Like Ebola, only more sinsister.
Life’s Crazy™