You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
3-D porn!
Porn so damn real you want to swat it away with a tennis racquet and call your local counseling center.
First it was 3-D Avitar and then it was 3-D Tron. Now it’s 3-D Porn.
Do we really need this cinematic experience?
If you want 3-D porn why don’t you go on a date?
I don’t know about you, but body parts extending into the audience, so real, so aroused with humanity, that’s just not what I want for my entertainment dollar.
But then again, I am not your typical Chinese citizen.
DATELINE: HONG KONG
It’s here that moviegoers flocked to see what was billed as the world’s first 3D porn film as it opened to packed cinemas across Hong Kong.
Come on Lee, Come on Lei, Come on Lea, grab your coats, where’s your momma-son, daddy is taking you to the theater.
Welcome to Date Night in China.
Can you imagine sitting there with your pop corn and soda pop and special 3-D glasses and then BOOM.
A gigantic sex scene that comes at you like Godzilla stomping a city bus.
A movie so disturbing, they hand out the business cards of family therapists as you leave.
But in Hong Kong; the 3-D screenings are sold out. Go figure.
According to the press release; the film is loosely based on a piece of classical Chinese erotic literature.
Yeah and the Longest Yard is loosely based on Shakespeare.
Woah, get that thing outta my face King Schlong!
According to published reports, moviegoers from all walks of life formed long lines outside cinemas looking to get an eyeful of steamy 3D action.
Many in the crowd were women and were not shy about watching the movie.
“I’m not normally much of a moviegoer, but this one is just too good to miss,” a 32-year-old woman said as she waited outside a cinema. “I’d like to see what 3D porn is like on the big screen.”
It’s like a plane crash of flaming sex organs burning from the big screen.
Can you even imagine this movie showing in Davenport, Iowa?
Mothers and fathers and their off spring, fresh off the ball diamonds and soccer fields, waiting in line to see a massive, guargantuan 3-D sex flick.
The police would enter the theater in riot gear and shut the whole thing down.
It would make the nightly news under the banner: Middle America loses it’s F-in Mind.
Here’s the kicker: Travel operators were reportedly organizing moviegoing excursions to Hong Kong and Taiwan for tourists from mainland China. That’s because mainland China is a tianamen square tank away from blowing your head off for picking dandelions, no less watching a gigantic sex organ in a theater.
Here’s the Good News / Bad News:
An Italian director is producing a 3D remake of the 1979 erotic film Caligula. Hustler plans to release a pornographic spoof of 3D science fiction film Avatar, the top-grossing movie of all time.
I can’t wait to sample opinion at the Davenport mall.
And that is crazy.™
and now the update……
‘World’s First 3D Porn Movie’ Tops Weekend Box Office
HONG KONG – What’s touted as the world’s first 3D porn movie packed the house in Hong Kong making “3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstacy” a box office blockbuster.
The soft-porn movie topped the weekend box office over the weekend bringing in HK$13.1 million (US$1.7 million), according to the Wall Street Journal.