You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Two Heart Attacks by 10 am.
2 heart attacks!
Not real heart attacks. Fake heart attacks.
Criminal heart attacks. Lying cheating stealing heart attacks.
6 years ago, I caught a father and son stealing water from the city fire hydrant.
They were opening up the hydrant with a stolen hydrant wrench they got from the fire department.
The fire department says they are full of it.
But that’s how it goes with these con men. They say this and the authorities say, not so fast weasels.
The water bandits are accused of filling up their 500 gallon tanker truck and going out with their free water to wash countless car at countless car lots.
Isn’t that great for them? The only resource for their business is water and they don’t even pay for it.
Pure profits.
Thanks tax payers!
When I confronted them six years ago about their water thefts, they lied to me telling me they had the right to the water and someone gave them the wrench and they had permission and….
Shut the F*** up.
God, these slimy douche bags can lie.
Back in the day, they told me that they were doing the city a service by flushing the cruddy water out of the line.
Really?
Doing the city a favor, like they should be paid for their troubles.
The water department guy laughed when I told him that.
“We don’t need anyone helping us do our jobs,” he said flippantly.
Fast forward to today.
I have been working with Metro Police for the last month collecting evidence and video of the father and son allegedly at it once again.
The video shows them pulling up their tanker truck, tapping the hydrant and filling the tank till it’s filled.
It’s tax payer money getting sucked out of the ground and stolen by a couple of unscrupulous miscreants.
So today, police busted the father at his office. They slapped on the cuffs and told him he was being charged with theft of services.
I paid for a meter he said.
The cop looked at him with a curious eye.
A meter is a device that tabulates the amount of water coming out of the hydrant and going into the truck. If there was a water department meter it would calculate how much water the father and son used and subsequently how much the father and son owed the city.
According to the cops who have seen multiple surveillance tapes, there is no meter, only blatant theft.
As the officer adjusts the cuffs on the old man, he hits the deck, clutching his chest, spewing and sputtering and feigning a heart attack.
The ambulance rushes him off to the hospital where doctors will eventually discharge him.
While at the hospital, he calls his son, who is also shown on tape stealing water.
The son arrives and upon learning he is under arrest, he too drops to his knee, feigning a medical condition.
Another fake heart attack?
Ha.
“Two heart attacks before 10 am,” comes the funny text from the water department spokesperson.
“Have you ever seen a situation like this before?” I ask the officer.
The long time veteran laughs. “No. Never. 2 heart attacks. Father and son. On the same day. They are side by side in beds in the emergency room. Unbelievable.”
After a few hours, the son is released. There is nothing wrong with him.
What a surprise.
The police officer walks him out of the E.R. his hands behind his back.
“Hey sir, do you have anything to say in your behalf?” I shout, my camera prancing inches from his face.
“This is the 2nd time in 6 years I’ve caught you stealing water from the city. What do you have to say for yourself?”
He says nothing, only exhaling with a heavy, pursive breath.
He gets in the back of the squad car and hangs his head.
The cop walks across the street with a smile on his face.
I interview him and we both laugh.
It’s a crime of consequence, with criminals who are idiots.
This story will soon air and I am sure the tax payers of Nashville will not find it so funny.
Life’s Crazy™