You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
Buying another man’s wedding ring.
Dateline Greenville N.C.
It’s 1990 and I’m working in the Greenville bureau for WCTI Ch 12.
We’re a bunch of young journalists in our late 20’s. We work hard, and we play hard, often hitting the taverns after work to mingle with a myriad of people from blue collar workers to ECU students.
This city and this time is the backdrop for one of the more surreal moments in my life.
Lowery is one of two sales reps working in our office. He is a bit older, and in his thirties.
One day he mopes into the common area of the office, his head hanging.
Lowery is a smooth southern gentleman. He is never too high or too low. He is calm and dependable, like a mint julip on a hot summer night.
But on this day, Lowery is sad, his deep brown eyes burried in the carpet.
“What’s up dude?”
“divorce is tough,” he says a voice full of confusion.
I’m due to get married in a few months, so divorce is a foreign concept to me.
“I’m sorry to hear that Lowery.”
“I want to tell you not to do it, boy, but you’re gonna have to find out for yourself.”
“Find out what, Lowery?”
“That marriage sucks. Once you marry a woman, it all changes.”
I’ve heard this before and I look at him with big scared eyes.
“I don’t want to steer you wrong, boy, especially since I’m so jaded right now, but marriage is a game changer.”
“How so.”
“It’s like woman quit trying so hard. They got what they want.”
“Quit trying so hard?”
“Sex. Love. Looks. It’s like a running back who dives over the end line and scores with no time on the clock. Game Over. why bother with the extra point. It’s off to the locker room for a shower with a bunch of dirty naked men.”
I look at Lowery wondering what the hell he’s talking about.
Lowery pulls his wedding band off his finger. “You got a ring yet he says holding the shiny object before me like a hypnotist trying to get me to stop smoking.
“Not yet,” i respond.
“I won’t be needing this anymore,” he says, the light glistening off the shiny gold. “How much you give me for this?” he laughs.
“huh?”
“I was gonna sell this at a pawn shop. But I’ll sell it to you.”
“How much do you want?,” i ask him, wondering if I can really buy another man’s wedding ring.
He pulls out an envelope and takes out a bill.
“This is my electric bill. They are going to shut off my power unless I pay them $48.98”
He stares at the ring and laughs.
“Man you put this on your finger and you think you have forever to forge a love and a life. Then it all blows apart like a house of cards.”
My mind is spinning. I am getting married in a few months and I have not really thought about a wedding ring. I just figured when the time was right, I would just get a ring.
“how bout 50 bucks,”he says.
I look in his eyes. They are dark and serious. divorce is gnawing at his soul. I’d give him the fifty bucks just to keep his power on. But the idea of getting a ring for $50 dollars from a man who needs to pay his rent who is getting divorced is tantalizing to my sprit of adventure.
“It’s an intriguing offer,” I say sliding the ring over my finger. Ive been looking at rings and they are all hundreds of dollars and honestly they don’t look any nicer than the one being offered to me for dirt cheap.
“Fifty bucks?”
“Fifty bucks,” he says putting the electric bill away.
I hold the ring up like a hobbit ready to go on a quest.
“OK, it’s a deal.”
I write him a check and the next thing I know I have a wedding ring.
I show my bride the $50 dollar ring and she is less than thrilled.
“you’re kidding right? You bought another man’s ring?”
“What?”
I have no defense for her vituperative stare, her probing query.
“Isn’t that bad luck?” she says aloud.
Maybe I think to myself, but I am not going to admit this now.
“No way. It is what you make of it.”
“I think it’s bad luck,” she says again rolling her eyes.
I don’t want to feed into her bad ju ju mentality.
“It only cost me $50” I say trying to redirect her angst. She rolls her eyes. She is a soon to be bride and she has other things to worry about.
“As long as you don’t buy my ring at a pawn shop or from some guy off the street,” she says angrily.
I wore that ring for 20 years. I often twirled it on my finger because it didn’t fit perfectly, but I would never tell her that.
20 years later, she still would have said “i told you so.”
I often looked at that ring and wondered what my boy Lowery was doing.
Did he remarry? Did he ever think about me and his ring? Did he wonder if it brought me some bad ju ju?”
Sadly, I don’t wear that ring anymore. It feels like lead. It feels like a fifty dollar ring with a tortured past.
If Jim doesn’t need it back, I think I’ll take it to a jewler and see what I can get for it. Gold is selling for $1,300 dollars an ounce.
And now I have kids to put through college.
And that is crazy!