you know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Tiger Woods.
The best player of this generation looks like a hack on a municipal course.
The former number one player in the world is beheading gophers, ripping bark, scattering blue jays.
I’m watching this one time Golf machine blast tee shots into the pines. I see him chipping out of the bunker only to be blinded by his own shot which rolls feebly into the drink.
He doesn’t throw his clubs, he doesn’t spit on the green, he doesn’t curse at his anonymous caddy.
No.
He basically says he’s pain free and for this he is glad.
Well I’m glad you are pain free, Tiger, but your game is painful to watch.
Right now, Tiger Woods plays golf like you play golf. I can honestly say I am Tiger Woods. I can easily shank a drive into the woods. I can top a 7 iron with the best of them. I am Tiger.
He missed the cut at Atlanta. Video showed him getting into his tournament car holding his own spikes and driving away. He looked like a mere mortal. He looked like one of us.
But for Tiger Woods, it was kind of sad. Has he lost it?
In the last 23 events, he has contended only 3 times. Back in the day, he would have contended 23 times and won 15 times.
Now, he’s a mental mess. His future is a nebulous what if.
His golf season is over. The question is; is his career over, at least the career we expected.
“Frustrating” That’s the way a somber Tiger described his play.
“I was feeling healthy after the Masters,” he said. “I got hurt. I haven’t played well since.”
It’s so simple, but so true.
Tiger is coming off a series of leg injuries that have kept him out of the golf world for months.
Despite his problems he is still the most compelling figure in golf. He is a TV ratings machine. He is the player that non-golf fans know. Golf is a game that rivals paint drying. Yet the average fan will tune in if Tiger is anywhere in the mix.
But Tiger is a confluence of extremes. He is a time bomb. He is a billionaire. He is a recluse, a superstar, a golfing corporation, a playboy, a father.
He was once married to Nike and Gatorade and a hot blond named Elin. Now he is divorced from them all.
I wanted to know how Tiger was doing in the PGA tournament this weekend, so I Googled Tiger Woods. The first thing that turns up?
TIGER WOODS NEW GIRLFRIEND!
WOW!
And there is the problem. I want golfing news on Tiger’s golfing prowess and instead I get pillow talk.
For what it’s worth, the new what’s her name is a 22-year-old blond. She’s smokin like the rest of his stable of foot loose and fancy free hotties. The article has a Brady Bunch like square of good looking girls that have graced the sheets of the Tiger’s lair.
Sadly, I have to scroll down a bit before I find sports news on this golfing great.
I want Tiger to break the records. He is the greatest golfer of my generation.
Is he the greatest golfer of all time? That question can’t yet be answered.
He is still young, he is built like a panther and he has the tools and mental acumen to dominate. Right now he’s a Ferrari in desperate need of a tune up.
Like the Ferrari, Tiger is temperamental and needy and expensive and flashy. But when the Ferrari is right it’s RIGHT and there is nothing that can touch it.
I guarantee you this. Tiger Woods will be back. He may always have a beautiful blond in his bed. He may always be controversial.
But soon enough when you Google Tiger Woods it will be because he is sending golf balls down the fairway like a heat seeking missile.
And that is crazy.