You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
Tattooing a large penis on a man’s back without him knowing you just tattooed a large penis on his back.
DATELINE: Australia.
This story is straight from the Holy House of the absurd.
According to The Courier-Mail, the tattoo is enough to make Johnny Wad Holmes blush, weighing in at a fully stout, stand up and salute, SIXTEEN INCHES!
That’s almost half a yard of Penis etched into your back. Good luck getting out of the shower at Y dude, they’ll have you arrested.
Where do you even put that kind of art. Do you start at the top of the guy’s ass and work up, or you do start at the base of his shoulders and work down? It’s a mystery.
The local paper reports that Chester Ives came to a home tattoo parlor for a simple ying and yang symbol. Instead, the the 25 year old got Wang and Wong.
Now Ives is a walking misdemeanor every time he takes off his shirt.
“Hey Bloke,” the local authorities will shout. “You can’t be sporting that big thing on your back. There’s women and children out here mate.”
So what caused this falic-fracas? Authorities say the two men got into an argument before the ink began flying.
Can you imagine what Ives thought when he looked in the mirror and saw that his back had become a flesh colored billboard for penile enhancement cream?
Oh my God! I would go flipping Off!, as they say down under.
Australian Police charged the ink man, Matthew Brady, with assault.
Now experts say Ives is looking at least 9 months of treatment to have 40 centimeters of permanent inked inappropriateness erased from his epidermis.
The incident has the tattoo industry up in arms.
Don Johnson from the Professional Tattoo Artists Association of Queensland said there should be some restrictions on buying tattoo equipment: “Anyone can buy one of these kits on eBay and start scribbling stuff on their mates.”
Scribbling on your mates is one thing. Drawing an obnoxious 406 millimeter Schlong on a guy’s back without his knowledge, well that is just outrageously crazy.