You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Being short.
I’m not talking Tom Cruise short.
I’m talking standing less than 2 feet tall!
That makes you shorter than a pony keg, shorter than a foot ottoman, shorter than a Rodney Dangerfield one liner.
At 2/3 of a yard you are a human low rider who can polish a pair of cowboy boots without bending over.
The world’s smallest man is Junrey Balawing and he stands 23.5 inches tall.
I don’t know whether to say congrats to the Filipino man or get the 18-year old some platform shoes.
Can you imagine being shorter than 2 rulers stacked end to end?
Shaquille O’Neil was born bigger than this guy. Shaquille O’Neil’s hemorrhoids are bigger than this guy.
He’s so small he can walk under the dining room table without banging his head?
He’s able to use a pillow case as a toga?
He’s able to pull his tube socks up to his chin?
According to published reports, this blacksmith’s son stopped growing when he was a toddler.
“Officially he is the world’s shortest man,” said Craig Glenday, editor-in-chief of the Guinness Book of World Records who measured Balawing in front of cheering relatives and villagers.
The previous record holder was from Nepal, and he was measured at just over 26 inches.
Nice job “knee-high” you clipped the champ by almost 3 inches. Way to go low.
I guess if you are going to be short, be freakishly short. And if you are going to be freakishly short why not win a blue ribbon like some circus freak who pounds nails through his skin.
Poor bastard. He looks like a mutant ninja turtle who needs a diaper change.
He’s 18 years old and he’s missed out on so much.
To go to the prom he had to borrow a tux from a Ken doll. To kiss his first girl he had to get her drunk and bring a step stool with a hydraulic jack. This guy can’t even get butter out of the fridge without calling 911.
“Thank you to all of you for supporting my son, the world’s shortest man,” Balawing’s father, Reynaldo, told a crush of reporters and photographers.
Sure thing pops. And thanks for capitalizing on your son’s deficiency.
Now tell him to walk under the couch cushions and find me some change.
and that’s crazy™