Sex in the Workplace

According to the survey; 1,434 people were questioned about office romance.
19 percent of the respondents indicated they had done it in a factory followed by 16% who prefer the office. The rest of the list included bar staff (15 percent), retail assistants (13 percent), plumbers (11 percent), teachers (10 percent), chefs (9 percent), postal workers (9 percent), fire fighters (7 percent) and cabin crew (6 percent).

I don’t understand how or even where you would do it inside a factory. Are you standing up? If you’re laying down, on what? A tarp?  

Now an office? I get that. There are cubicles and private places and couches.

I understand the urge to merge at a bar. I mean you’re all ready liquored up and that’s mostly the reason you’re there anyway, right?

But fire fighters feeling the heat in a fire house? How ridiculous is that? When is there time to have sex with your fellow fire fighter. Aren’t you always wondering when the alarm will sound? And is this gay fire fighter sex? Not that the sexuality of of your fire fighter matters when you are battling a house fire. But come on, fellas. Sex in a fire house? That’s like putting a condom in the collection plate. It’s just wrong, unless you’re British, of course.

And honestly, I don’t like the thought of my flight crew screwing around either. If you are flying at 500 mph, a mile in the sky, where gravity is trying really hard to bring you back down to Earth, do you want your pilots having sex. I want your pants zipped up and your gaze out the window. I don’t want anyone in uniform doing shots or flight attendants securing tray tables to their full and locked position, if you know what I mean.

As for post office sex? All I can say is HUH?

Have you taken a good look at your average postal worker. They make Big Foot look sexy. 

I never would have imagined sex in a post office. I mean where? In the mail bins? In the back of the mail trucks? Are you soiling first class mail? Isn’t that a federal offense? No wonder so much mail gets lost and the post office is in shambles.

When asked to estimate how long Brits think about sex at work, 31 percent of factory workers estimated spending up to two hours a shift dreaming about sex at work.


2 hours a shift! 

You only come to your place of employment for 8 hours dude.

So 25% of the time you are thinking about banging your co-worker? No wonder there are so many disfiguring injuries in factory settings. Can imagine how many days you could go without a workplace accident if everyone was thinking about work and not rug burns under the boiler room stairs?

According to the survey, only 4% of the respondents thought factory drones had the most sex on the job.  Of course among factory workers, it was a landslide. 100%  of factory workers voted for sex by, for and to other factory workers.

 48 percent of respondents said cabin crews had the most sex. This was followed by nurses with 39 percent.

“Jobs that require a large amount of repetition tend to allow the mind to wander, quite clearly leaving it free to think of more, exciting things,” she said.


“Employees must remember that work place trysts are almost always sure to cause a great deal of friction amongst colleagues. You may think you’re being discreet, but these things always have a way of creeping out.”

Here’s my advice Tonto. If you are paid to put biscuits in the basket, keep your private parts out of your neighbors dumpster. That way nobody has to call H.R. Nobody has to wipe soot off their Hoo Ha with a wet nap.

and that is crazy.