You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s Crazy!™
A sex drive thru!
Talk about supersizing it!
Talk about special orders don’t upset us.
Talk about 2 all beef patties special sauce and a nice set of buns.
DATELINE: ZURICH, Switzerland
It looks like police in Zurich are subscribing to the “if you can’t beat them, let them beat each other” philosophy.
It’s Switzerland’s version of drive through sex. Apparently the problem of prostitution in the land of cheese and chocolate is so obvious and unstoppable, the city has built drive in sex huts to shield citizens from the unsavory visual of daytime sex inside an automobile.
Where’s the price menu? Where do I place my order? Where’s the kid’s toy?
According to published reports; prostitution has become such a problem in Switzerland that Zurich officials have made proposals to add “sex boxes” to the city. The idea itself is adopted from German cities like Essen and Cologne, and will be a way for prostitution to continue behind closed doors.
From the looks of it, you drive your car into the stall that is a little reminiscent of Jiffy Lube. While in the stall, the attendant presumably negotiates a fee for services and then proceeds to change your oil and top of your fluids.
Sex in the Box, was developed because enforcement wasn’t working and the residents who live around this red light district were sick of watching flesh bobbing to and fro.
“They get up to all sorts in broad daylight – and we’re sick to death of looking at it,” one resident told the U.K.’s Metro.
So this is Switzerland’s best option?
Here’s how I imagine Zurich Police Vice Unit discussed the sex-in-a-box idea at roll call.
“Captain, no matter how many men we throw at Zurich’s prostitutes, we just can’t slow it down. The Johns keep coming, no pun intended.”
“I know SGT. These whores are relentless. They know their streets and they know their customers.”
“Captain, I never thought I would say this but, I think we might have to just give up, and let the harlots take over the city”
“Sgt. I have a better idea. Let’s create drive through sex boxes where hookers and johns can meet and break the law in a clandestine dance of anonymity. That way we can pretend its not happening because there is a 10 foot wall surrounding them. The public won’t see it and they won’t complain and we can spend more times patrolling donut shops.”
“Captain, that’s brilliant. If we don’t see the crime, then surely no laws are being broken.”
“That’s right Sgt. Less crimes means less paperwork and more promotions for a job well done. What we don’t know won’t hurt us.”
“Maybe we could tax this sex in the box operation, Captain.”
“Woah, Sgt. Woah. Don’t get ahead of yourself there. That would mean regulating the sexual promiscuity of the hookers, and that means we’d have to open our eyes and actually take action. That would defeat the purpose of this see no evil, hear no evil, tactical plan.”
“I’m sorry Captain, I didn’t mean to insinuate that we might want to do our jobs.”
“That’s why I’m the Captain of the Zurich Police, Sgt.”
“Right you are sir.”
And so it goes.
I mean what’s next Flat Foot?
Drive through bank robbery? You drive up to the teller’s window and send your note through the tube. The teller acts all afraid and sends you back a wad of twenties without a dye pack.
Sex in a box. That is crazy!