You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Trying to bury a live animal.
I submit for your approval the nebulous tale of Scamp the dog.
This story begins with poor Scamp’s untimely death.
“Paw go get a shovel and bury Scamp.”
“Maw I can’t right now. My hemorrhoids is acting up.”
“Then leave Scamp out by the shed and we’ll bury him tomorrow.”
And so it goes.
So Scamp the puppy is dead, right?
“not so fast,” as Lee Corso might yell.
This story is either a Christmas miracle or another American story of stupid showcasing the brain power of a gerbil.
DATELINE: YELM, Washington
Reta McKinlay, also known as Maw, thought Scamp was dead.
Why wouldn’t she? The grand kid’s puppy scooted through a fence at her home.
Bam.
Scamp was smashed by a car. The terrier-Shih Tzu mix was bleeding, his eyes fixed. He wasn’t breathing.
He had all the life of cold bacon.
Maw may be a good grandmother, but a veterinarian she ain’t.
According to published reports, grandpa wrapped little Scamp in a blanket and then with all the love you would show a leaf blower, grandpa put Scamp under a wheelbarrow to keep the weasels and buzzards away.
Nothing says merry Christmas like Weasels and Buzzards.
So in a heart warming tale straight out of the Old Yeller hand book, the family gathered to bury little Scamp.
After telling her grand kids Scamp had gone to heaven, after shedding a few tears, the family gets a surprise.
Grandpa, hemorrhoids feeling better, goes to the shed with his shovel, prepared to do the deed, and there is the ghost of Scamp, sitting up.
It’s not said whether he is scowling, growling, or smiling, but I bet Scamp is confused.
“Hey ya’ll left me out here to die,” the little dog is thinking.
Grandpa is probably confused too.
“Damn, I thought that varmint was dead.”
“MAW!”
So is Scamp a Christmas miracle? Maybe to the grand kids.
To Ma and Pa?
Scamp is a hefty $3,000 vet bill, and a reminder that stupid is sadly not a crime in America
And that is crazy.