You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
What substitutes for a good pick up line now-a-days.
1970’s: What’s your sign?
1980’s: Frankie says; RELAX.
1990’s: I drive a Beamer, how bout you?
2010: Want to see my rubber?
HUH?
That’s right, the rubber bracelet known as Silly Bandz that are all the rage with grade school kids is now a big hit in your local tavern.
According to published reports, hard up adults on the prowl for sex are using the colorful bandz instead of bad pickup lines to make love connections.
“I had no idea what they were,” said financial planner James Santos, 32, who lives in New York.
I dont’ have facts to back this up, but my take on Santos is he’s a loser who lives in his mother’s basement. He has never been laid or talked to a girl in a bar. Unless you mean the cocktail waitress he accidentally tripped into.
Hey Santos, “excuse me,” is not a pick up line.
But thanks to colorful, rainbow assorted Bandz, Santos now is finding out that rubbers are a way to a girl’s heart.
Imagine that. Santos is finding out something the rest of the world has known for a while.
“I went on a date with a girl. She gave me one. Two days later, another girl gave me another Silly Bandz. I felt important,” Santos said, hearts gleaming in his eyes.
And who can blame Santos? What’s more impressive than a woman who can make it rain rubbers.
Santos said he now keeps his own stock of the silly bandz, shaped like palm trees and surfers and hearts.
Happy go lucky Santos now wraps his silly bandz around his favorite body parts.
“People always notice them,” Santos said. “They are a great conversation starter.”
Women who hand out the silly bandz say it’s an easy way to hit on a guy without being too aggressive.
Yeah, you wouldn’t want to be too aggressive. You wouldn’t want to make the wrong impression like handing a man the wrong silly bandz.
Here’s a purple dinosaur big boy. Call me. Wink. Wink.
If women like to hand out purple silly bandz, what about other dinosaur shaped rubber products designed for that special love connection?
I think prophylactics with the image of Homer Simpson and Fred Flintstone would be a real conversation starter in a bar, don’t you?
“There is no enforced etiquette about it,” said Columbia University student Ajah Alvarez, 28, who gave a guy a rubber gorilla while sipping a beer at Legends in Midtown.
Some young people say rubber bandz is the new FACEBOOK, only different since with FaceBook you can’t actually talk to anyone and putting a decorative rubber on them is never going to happen.
“The coolest part is trading them,” the co-ed said. “It doesn’t have your name on it. People can’t track you down.”
Then again. Why would they want to?
And that is crazy.