You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
A bride marrying herself.
I guess this crazy story answers the age old question; “Why does a dog lick itself?….Because it can!”
DATELINE: TAIPEI, Taiwan
According to the Shanghai Daily, a Taiwanese bride was so tired of settling for Mr. Wrong, she ended up marrying Mrs. Right.
HERSELF!
Crazy, but apparently true in the Rapunzel let down your hair republic of Taiwan.
Chen Wei-yih is her name, but I like to call her Lady We-We for short.
We-We told a gathering of Taiwanese journalists that a good man is hard to find. Apparently We-We has been to every cigar bar and fruit stand in Taipei and there is not a swinging Y chromosome worth her time. So We-We is going to don the ceremonial veil of matrimonial bliss and take that long walk up the aisle to an alter of pretend.
Good for you We-We. And for your next trick, maybe you can dress up as the tooth fairy and delivery free dental floss to all the good little boys and girls of your sadly lacking man-city.
We-We has a lot of time on her hands and a screw loose in her brain. And to make this fabrication all the more real, We-We will wear a flowing white bridal gown and hire a wedding photographer to capture all those romantic moments, like dancing by herself, and cutting the cake by herself, and saying I do to herself.
I don’t know about you, but this marriage will never last. And when it’s time to divvy up the loot, who gets what? Who is the bad guy in this divorce? Who will friends side with? We or We?
We-We said her friends told her to do it, and she said OK since she couldn’t find a decent husband in Taipei, Taiwan’s largest city.
This is what is wrong today people. Everyone is a quitter! Everyone gives up.
Hey We-We, you should have tried harder. Or you should have died an old spinster. That’s the way the world likes it. You don’t marry yourself. That’s weird, like a sea creature that fertilizes its own eggs. I don’t like the sound of it, and personally I am rooting for that sea creature to go extinct.
The Uni-Marriage will not be recognized by law but still We-We has the backing of her family.
“My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven’t found a partner, so what can I do?” she sighed.
“I’m not anti-marriage. I just hope that I can express a different idea within the bounds of a tradition.”
No We-We, you reinforce what every man in Taipei all ready knows; You are Crazy! You are a black widow of desperation. Every man in your country’s biggest city all ready knows that a relationship with you starts out all sweet and Hallmark Card like, but then it’s a radical shift to the dark side.
I know your type. After a few weeks of me not making my bed just the way you like it, your inner demon is going to emerge and your head is going to rotate on your shoulders while you spit lentil soup all over our apartment in a fit of dating rage.
You are not marrying material We-We. Say what you will. Blame all the men in the world, but the problem, as I see it is not men, it’s you!
So have a good life. Happy Uni-wedding. Enjoy the honeymoon where your best friend has a carrying case and a D battery. Enjoy a life of saying please pass the salt to an empty chair. Don’t be dismayed when you ask if these jeans make your ass look fat and the darkness whispers “yes”.
Hey We-We, look forward to a lifetime of stealing your own blankets on cold mornings, and accusing yourself of snoring and not turning off the light when you leave a room. Have fun putting down the toilet seat and picking up your underwear from the floor and ….
On the other hand, We-We, maybe you’re right. Maybe marrying yourself is a banner idea.
I like myself and I don’t care if I snor and I like the toilet seat up. HMMMM. Interesting concept?
Marry yourself?
Perhaps the key to a happy life is to fertile my own fish eggs and move toward, dare I say it, individualized “bliss”.
We-We you’re Crazy!