You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
Writing a that’s crazy story on my new iPhone!
The screen is 3 inches wide.It’s like typing through the bottom of a coke bottle. The alphabet is so damn small I need a magnifying glass to see what I’m doing. It’s like trying to learn Quantum physics on flash cards. It’s hard like making love standing up on a skate board.
The key board is only good for Lilliputians. I feel like Gulliver wearing a thong 29 sizes too small. It’s as if my thumbs are monstrously large, like dinosaur feet and I’m tip going through a mine field.
BANG
My fingers hunt and peck, like a pair of opposable Godzillas stomping through an illuminated boulevard of alphabetical cars.
One missed key stroke and KABLAM!
Auto correct changes the word to something it thinks I wanted to say!
I said Godzilla iPhone not geo-synchronous gobbledygook.
I wanted to try typing this story directly on my iphone since this is the way the next generation plans to communicate.
really? is something this small really the future?
Young people Tell me this is the path of a higher existence.
Well, If that is true -get me a shot of Patron a hollow point and a .357 cause I am going off.
This tiny little screen gives me a panic attack. Sure it takes pix and texts and connects me to the Internet where I can live a cyber existence in relative bliss.
But as far as typing this CRAZY blog, the iphone is woefully inept. It’s too small and not responsive to a writer’s needs.
It can tell me the temperature in Prague, but I can’t even hit the enter key without an Asian porn web site trying to download something filthy.
The iphone is essentially a battery operated Swiss Army knife of the new millennium. It won’t open
a can of soup, but I am sure there is an app that will make me think I not only opened the soup but consumed it
In a fine Paris cafe!
And the future comes complete with a sultry old lady voice. Her name is Sirie.
You can ask her where to hide A body or how to get to the local liquor store. I told her I loved her and she slapped my
Cyber face. Thankfully my cyber face is tough.
I don’t know! I am typing slow and don’t feel very creative writing this way. Two opposable thumbs slamming away at this microscopic glass typewriter. It is certainly laborious.
I’m not sold on this device as a do everything mechanism. It’s cool and I am glad I have it, but this was certainly an interesting writing experiment.
It is so hard to write, and write with expediency, that the thought I wanted to communicate is often lost by the time I get the words on the tiny screen.
It seems to be a good communicative tool but today it turns my creative expression into a slovenly hay ride of frustration.
So Give me a 15 inch lap top that can’t talk and I’ll rule the world.
Oh hold on Sirie is buzzing in with a reminder that I’m scheduled to hide a dead body in the nearby dump.
For goodness sakes, Serie.
And that is crazy!