You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
A woman attacked with human waste!
She was slimed with a bucket of skum, so horrific, so foul, that even grizzled police veterans who have inhaled the stench of autopsy vapor reportedly began to gag.
DATELINE: Seattle
According to Seattle Police, a man allegedly threw a bucket of human feces, urine and vomit onto a woman.
This is nauseating. It’s like showering with human filth and brushing your teeth with garbage disposal back wash.
If you need an air sickness bag to continue today’s entry, I don’t blame you.
According to the report, the victim had been involved in an ongoing dispute with a neighbor, who carried out the attack.
Urine soaked the woman’s clothes, large pieces of apparent “soft fecal matter” were on her back and a “substantial amount” of apparent vomit was in her hair, responding officers reported.
Police also reported “an extreme stench that was difficult to bare.”
Ok, now I am gagging myself. Uh oh. Uh oh. I think I just vomited in my own mouth. I have to stop typing before I soil the front of my shirt.
I can’t even imagine anything more dispicable than throwing human waste on another person.
A guy spit on me once in a bar and we threw down right there; right then.
Throwing excrement on another person? Well that’s felonious assault in my book.
Can you imagine standing their covered in this malosses like stink. You’d reek like some kind of sea weed creature from the sewage treatment plant.
The woman must have looked like something pulled out of urinal of the men’s prison.
The police report only indicates the stench was substantial. I took that to mean she smelled like a combination of ransid urine and stomach bile from a goat.
Police said the attacker lured the woman outside by claiming her car had a problem.
That’s when the fecal throwing hooligan struck.
It was like the prom scene from Carrie only more disgusting. Had Carrie been hit with this viscous broth of heinousness, lightning would have exploded out of the Demonic teens eyes electrocuting all party goers in a fermenting rage of hate.
A police biohazard team was called to clean up the apartment entry way.
When is the last time a biohazard team was called to clean up women’s hair, or to pull chunks of excrement out of her eye lashes?
Usually these guys are called to extract fermenting corpses buried in the basement.
This incident was so bad, officers had to seal themselves in protective plastic and breathe oxygen from a tank. The cops wrapped themselves tighter than a condom on a French Ligionier.
The suspect will face assault charges once in custody, according to the report.
That’s nice and all but I think this case is different.
I would put this sociopath in the stockade in the middle of the town square. I would invite anyone with a bad attitude and bag of filth to come out and make a night of it.
Step right up to the miscreant and shower him with your nastiness and gooey unmentionables.
Now that would be justice fitting this crime.
And that is crazy.