You know what’s Crazy? I’ll Tell you what’s crazy!
A new condom with teeth.
It’s as sensual as Poison Sumac.
You think I’m kidding? a condom with incisors, it’s the real deal and it’s designed to take a bite out of crime, or at least a man’s special purpose.
DATELINE: SOUTH AFRICA
Doctors in South Africa are distributing a new female condom that has sharp teeth that literally grips a man’s private part, causing him intense pain.
The condom is a weapon for women against possible rapists.
South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers is distributing the condom called Rape-aXe. I call it the SHARK-CONDOM!
According to published reports: The condom is inserted by women like a tampon. It has jagged teeth-like-hooks inside that attach to a man’s private part.
OUCH! RIP! TEAR!
It’s like a meat eating shark-condom.
Once it grabs hold, only a doctor can remove it.
Can you imagine that doctor’s visit?
“Doc I’m dying over here. this thing won’t let go.”
Dr. Ehlers hopes this will help authorities catch offenders and discourage rapists.
“It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on,” Ehlers said. “If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… however, it doesn’t break the skin, and there’s no danger of fluid exposure.”
Doctor Frankenstein I presume?
Critics say the carniverous condom is barbaric.
The doctor counters; “rape is barbaric”, and this way a rapist gets what a rapist deserves.
It’s hard to argue with that kind of logic.
Here are some other Crazy Suggestions:
Cattle Prod Condom: the rapists’ Johnson is electrocuted with a jolt of electricity that the woman controls. It is cumbersome and batteries are costly.
Razor Blade Condom: The rapist is severed and dismembered for ever. This is the extreme.
Pit Bull Condom: a real life pit bull, deprived of food is forced into the condom. It is tough to load and disguise as anything more than an angry dog inside a condom, BUT if the rapist falls for it…
SNAP!
It is diabolically effective once activated. The rapist will never forget this one!
During the World Cup the doctor plans to distribute 30,000 of the free devices. After the trial period they will be sold for $2 each.
“The ideal situation would be for a woman to wear this when she’s going out on some kind of blind date … or to an area she’s not comfortable with,”
I love the idea of a rapist getting what’s coming to them, but what if the woman is just feeling angry at men in general. What a great way to get even with an ex boy friend, a current jerk, a random stranger in a bar who you think needs a wake up call in manners.
It seems like there are some inherent problems with the
Shark-Condom.
Ehlers said she had also asked rapists in jail whether the device would have deterred them and said some admitted it would have.
But critics suggest the condom puts women at risk of further violence from men trapped by the device and reminded women of their vulnerability.
Others accuse her of inventing a medieval device. “Yes, my device may be a medieval, but it’s for a medieval deed that has been around for decades,” Ehlers said. “I believe somethings got to be done … and this will make some men rethink before they assault a woman.”
Condoms that rip off your Johnson? It’s got me thinking all ready.
and that is crazy