You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
suspenders that keep your saggy ass pants from being too saggy ass.
If you hate Saggy Baggy Pants then you might hate the saggy baggy pants Garter Belt even more. I KNOW I DO.
This next story is from the better mouse trap department. OR Homey’s pants got no belt.
According to published reports; a New York man has invented “Subs” — part suspenders, part garter belt — to help those who like saggy pants wear their droopy drawers without dropping them.
The belt features clips that allow the wearer to adjust how low the waistband goes.
When the hell did belts need technology? This isn’t a hydraulic lift at Jiffy Lube, this is a damn strap that holds up your damn pants!
If you are feeling crack-corner slinging dope bad-ass, then you wear em down to your knees.
If you only want people to know that your underwear is made by Polo or Haynes, then you set them for high riding low riders.
“Instead of going over the shoulders on the outside of the shirt, Subs cinch around the waist and are worn underneath the shirt, creating a subtle, yet very distinct and edgy look,” says the product’s website on www.hatchadventures.com.
Yeah, nothing says edgy like underpants sticking out the back of your pants.
PULL UP YOUR PANTS. DIDN’T YOUR MOMMA TEACH YOU NOTHING!!
The belt’s 43-year-old inventor tells the New York Daily News he got the idea from watching young men hold on to the waistband of their pants while climbing the subway stairs.
“Sagging is a huge issue in my community,” entrepreneur Andrew Lewis told the paper. “I spent a lot of time observing and I noticed that even for saggers, there is a point which even they’re not comfortable with how their jeans were falling.”
They aren’t comfortable Mr. Lewis because they are pants. They are not stockings or leggings or underwear illustrative coverings. They are pants and since the cavemen learned to skin saber tooth tigers and wrap themselves up, men have worn their pants on their ass, not their thighs.
You know who will hate Subs? The cops. It’s going to be a lot harder to chase perps now. In the old days, many a crack head fled, then fell after their pants slipped down to their ankles, tripping them.
Many a cop took the credit for an arrest that the perpetrators own pants actually facilitated.
And that is crazy.Just in time for the Christmas rush, a low riding sag that isn’t too low a ride.