You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s Crazy!™
Having sex with a cow. Then being forced to marry that cow.
Mooooo.
According to The Jakarta Globe, A Bali teenager caught trying to have sex with a cow was punished. Was he thrown in the stockade? In jail? Made to wear a sandwich board reading: I like cows?
No. He was made to marry the animal in front of hundreds of curious onlookers.
HUH?
What’s more embarrassing than getting caught having sex with a farm animal? Maybe molesting a gerbil? How bout picking your nose, smothering it in mayonnaise and eating it with a spoon?
Nope.
Being forced to marry a farm animal you like in a sexual kind of way. Standing there in a full on matrimonial ceremony and telling that farm animal you will stand by her, through thick and thin, through sickness and in health, through cream or cottage cheese.
How udderly disgusting.
The boy’s name is Ngurah Alit. He’s 18 and unemployed. Go figure!
Apparently the young man from Western Bali was naked in a paddy field and mounting Elsie the Cow when curious eyes spotted him.
Hey Ngurah what you doing over there?
Now here’s the part of the story that makes me cringe.
According to the Globe, Alit admitted bestiality but told shocked bystanders he had fallen in love with the bovine after it “seduced him” with flattering comments.
“Alit, you Mooooove me,” the bovine reportedly said.
Rather than beat him or put a big bell around his neck to warn the other cows, Village Elders did what any respectable village elders would do. They organized a “wedding” to cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow.
What’s so unholy about that?
Humiliated Alit fainted at his own wedding. WIMP.
The “BOVINE-BRIDE ” was led to a nearby river after the ceremony and drowned. How many of you guys suddenly wish you had married a cow now?
So what happened to young Alit? Well he was symbolically dunked under the water to cleanse him from “defilement” of course.
“Only his clothes were thrown into the sea,” said one villager. “He’s actually a quiet kid.”
Who isn’t quiet when they are discreetly trying to hump a cow?
And that is crazy!