You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy! ™
Litigating the Absurd!
Today’s story centers around one agency suing another agency because of Unicorn Meat.
Yes, Unicorn Meat. You know, the delectable, melts in your mouth, meat of the Gods. The meat that comes with a horn.
Yes that Unicorn Meat, that can only be found on Mt. Olympus, after you throw fairy dust over a rainbow.
You heard me! Unicorn Meat!
In today’s sagging economy, let me ask you a fiscally oriented question.
You are the CEO of a major organization and every dollar counts.
How much money are you willing to divert from your pension scam account to a frivolous law suit involving non existent meat?
How much capital do you waste so your legal team can send a strong message to a company playing an April Fool’s Day joke?
If I’m running this operation, I’m popping a couple of tic tacs in my mouth and getting on the stair master to blow off some steam. My Check Book remains closed!
Unicorn Meat? I’ll sue over Unicorn Meat right after I call my bookie and lay down a bet on the Minotaur Races down at Looking Glass Park.
DATELINE: PORTLAND, Oregon
So who is this group with the sense of humor you need a magnifying glass to see? The National Pork Board.
It seems that this industry group got their snouts all out of joint trying to protect their trademark:
PORK THE OTHER WHITE MEAT
It seems that the lawsuit was a reaction to the phrase: Unicorn: the other White Meat.
HUH?
It’s not like they insulted the pork council with a slogan like: Unicorn meat, our horn is bigger than your horn!
The fictional canned meat, described as an “excellent source of sparkles,” was an April Fool’s prank.
But the 12-page letter from the Pork People proved they were not amused.
“We certainly offered our apologies,” Scott Kauffman, Chief Prankster and CEO of Geeknet Inc., told the Associated Press.
“It was not our intention to confuse the public as to the attributes and qualities of the two meats.”
In a public apology this week, ThinkGeek said its nonexistent canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red and not approved by any government entity.
In a statement that makes you wonder how some people collect a pay check and for what; Ceci Snyder, VP of Marketing for the National Pork Board squeeled this:“We certainly understand that unicorns don’t exist. Yes, it’s funny. But if you don’t respond, you are opening your trademark up to challenges.”
Badly Squealed Cici!
The Pork Council has less of a sense of humor than a pig in slop.
Next time I see a repulsively fat guy slurping down a BLT I think I’m going to cry.
It’s not like Unicorn Meat is real, Cici? The company doesn’t produce a product that you can eat, so is saying their non existent product that you cannot eat, is the other white meat, on one prankster oriented day a year, really cause for alarm?
The company behind the unicorn joke says it feels victimized by the Pork Council, since the company sells many real pork related items
such as bacon gumballs and bacon soap.
ThinkGeek “launches” mock products every April Fool’s day. The company said it was surprised the board did not raise any concerns about another prank item this year called “My First Bacon” — a talking stuffed toy that looked like a piece of bacon.
“To be attacked in this manner, given all we do for pork, the irony is not lost on us,” Kaufmann said.
People are starving out there. Homes are being repossessed. Families are losing their jobs.
Take your unicorn meat law suit and shove it where the pixie dust don’t shine.
Because That’s Crazy is truly the OTHER WHITE MEAT!