You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
A resort run by Blondes for Blondes. That’s like the blind leading the blind or the pot calling the kettle black or who’se on first, no who is on second.
DATELINE: Maldives.
According to the BBC, A Lithuanian company is setting up a holiday resort in the Maldives run entirely by blondes — right down to the pilots who fly you in.
Great!
Joke: Did you hear the one about the blonde who took an hour
to cook Minute Rice?
Nobody navigates a joystick to the Maldives better than a blonde right? Who you gonna trust with your gyroscope? A blonde or a real pilot who might have actually dropped some ordinance on flatulating camels in the desert?
If this blondes only resort ever opens up, do you think the collective IQ will of the hotel staff will be greater than lint on a door knob?
Joke: Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?
Will the blonde staff ask each other how many blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb while all holding light bulbs, staring at burned out light bulbs?
This resort is a soggy wedding dress of an idea.
What if you color your hair? What if you have dark roots? What if the staff forgets how to put on their pants or punch the time clock? what then blonde hotel? what then?
The BBC reported that this londe universe hopes to open in 2015.
What is prompting the all blonde all the time motif? The company creating this golden movement is from the Baltics where blonde is apparently beautiful.
Blonde pilots. Blonde waitresses. Blonde desk staff.
Joke: Two blondes are trying to unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde One: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Hurry up. it’s starting to rain, and the top is
down!
According to the BBC: this blonde bombshell of a resort could be seen as discriminatory.
Oh you think so?
Let’s see. You have black hair and red hair and no hair. Sorry we cannot hire you. Oh you are black and you are indonesian and your Asian, why don’t you go and stand over there by the cigarette butt receptacle.
Discriminatory? Are you kidding me?
And this resort is in the Maldives, where local laws require resorts to hire half of all staff from the islands.
Last time I checked, there are a lot of non blonde people in the Maldives.
Why is a company wasting its time?
All you have to do is read this quote by one of the project backers and you get the picture:
“We find that when women with dark hair work here, they are surrounded by all these beautiful blondes, so eventually they end up going blonde too.”
What a business plan.
It’s the Wesley Snipes business theorm “once you go black you never go back”.
But look, what does That’s Crazy know. We have never sent a single correspondent to Latvia where the BBC reports this:
As evidence of the burgeoning Baltic blonde movement, the BBC cited a a two-day blonde festival held in the Latvian capital of Riga last May that included a march of blonde women through the city and a blonde concert that apparently was so compelling a young man felt it necessary to strip off his clothes. He was detained by police.
I can’t wait to crack the champagne bottle on this project.
JOKE: Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
And that’s crazy.