Wearing their blue smocks and their pinned on wings, they sashe down that three foot runway like the gestapo of the air.
They tell us to buckle our belts more times than a roadside squeegee man asks for a dollar.
They ask if I have the strength to open a door in an emergency and would I be willing to help others.
“No lady. I’m saving my own ass if this flaming tin can goes down in the drink! Of course I’ll help the others. If I’m not playing on my ipad or doing shots of flaming sambuca.”
Ah the aerial hostesses with the mostesses are nice until you cross their path. Then they turn from coffee, tea or me to NAZI’s with badly fitting blue slacks.
And now – in this post 911 world – flight attendants can also decide who flies and who gets the hell off the plane. They can look you up and down and decide who is a pain in the ass, who is a security threat, and who is a passenger about to be looking for another way to get home.
On Monday – Country singer John Rich didn’t “make it to his city” after a Southwest flight crew determined he was too inebriated to make the trip from Vegas to Nashville.
On Tuesday, Alec Baldwin was escorted off an American Airlines flight at LAX because he reportedly refused to turn off his ipad.
According to published reports, the Big and Rich singer was reportedly drunk and may have engaged in a verbal argument with passengers.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, just not in row 13!
And when Alec Baldwin – the “30 Rock Star” – refused to turn off his ipad, he was given the boot and then tweeted about it.
“Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving. nowonderamericaairisbankrupt, he tweeted.
And nothing good can come from this. This is where sky marshals, FBI and low brow TSA employees will probe you, prod you, interrogate you, and generally feel you up and make you feel dirty.
It happened to Rich. It happened to Baldwin. It can happen to you.