You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
A bacon flavored milk shake.
How fat are we America?
Isn’t an ice cream flavored shake made from ice cream no longer good enough for us anymore? Do we need to fry up a pound of bacon and slather it on top with caramel and slices of ham too.
Jeez.
Have you been to a beach lately? Have you seen the rolly polly tidal wave of fat bouncing above every swim suit bottom? It looks like America has had enough to eat.
Do we really need bacon added to any other food product that is not all ready bacon?
There’s a reason it Oinks people. It’s a pig.
What’s next? mainlining margarine? Snorting spaghetti?
How bout Chocolate Ice Cream Flavored facial cream?
DATELINE:
Jack in the Box is now offering patrons a Bacon Shake.
According to the company web site, the product is “made with real vanilla ice cream, bacon flavored syrup, whipped topping and a maraschino cherry,”
OK, bacon flavoring isn’t exactly chunks of oinking bacon, but still, the caloric firestorm of this meal in a cup could single handedly kill a small rhinoceros.
According to news reports, a large 24 oz. serving has 1,081 calories, 54 grams of fat and 461 grams of sodium.
That’s the equivalent of eating a small child in Zimbabwe.
“We know our guests love bacon,” said Jack in the Box spokesperson Golda Akhgarnia. “But this has exceeded our level of expectation.”
The shake is available nationwide, she said. That’s good news for all the fat bastards from Portland Maine to Portland Tennesee to Portland Oregon.
Bacon flavored milk shakes? Where will it end? Isn’t rocky road with marshmallow M & M’s and peanut clusters enough of a heart stopper?
Why stop at bacon?
Just toss sugar into some lard and freeze it on a stick.
Lard-cicles.
Yum.
Call it “a coronary in the freezer”
Apparently fat ass America can’t get enough of a bad thing. It raises the question: Will the meaty madness ever stop?
Not till every single American drops dead in a sweaty puddle of grizzled lard.
And that is crazy.