You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you whats crazy.™
Women are Crazy and Men are idiots for loving women who are crazy.
I’ve said this before. Women are crazy because it is part of the DNA blue print. Women can’t help it. It has taken millions of years of evolution and this is the way it must be.
Men have evolved even less. We are still socially inept cavemen, barely able to communicate without grunting, scratching and dragging our knuckles along the floor.
Somewhere Darwin is laughing his survival of the fittest ass off.
So it is with this evolutionary understanding that I reveal the results of a very limited but interesting survey put out by Great Cuts Hair Centers.
The National Survey Reveals that given 15 extra minutes, men and women would both head to the bedroom.
Now here’s a shocker.
Men would go there to get their rocks off. Women would go there to get their sleep on.
And that my friends is why 50% of the marriages in this country fall apart faster than a supermodel on the Apprentice.
Men want sex, pretty much all the time. And women, not so much.
For men, sex is physical and instantly satisfying. Hey can you pass me that bologna sandwich? For men, sex is a cool Dr. Pepper on a hot summer’s day. That was Delicious. Thank You very much. Now where’s the Xbox?
For women, sex is more than a soft drink quenching thirst. It’s an emotional river, raging through an aquaduct of evolutionary predisposition. It is powerful and meaningful like an operatic cresendo that brings a tear to one’s eye. I’m not sure what that means, but I like the way it rolls off the mind’s tongue.
The survey polled 316 American men and women, a group that has as much in common as vampires and sunlight.
When asked what they would do with 15 extra minutes, 24% of women said they would sleep.
Really ladies? 15 minutes and you would sleep? You could be buns up and dealing, getting your tingle on. You could be solidifying your relationship with your man or perhaps solidifying your relationship with yourself, if you know what i mean.
15 extra minutes and all you can come up with is sleep? Crappy answer. But it’s head and shoulders a better answer than the 2nd leading choice, which was cleaning (organizing closets, dust baseboards, mop floors)
CLEANING? women would rather organize a closet or mop the floor before having sex? and they would rather sleep before both?
What if you could wear a feather duster on your deriere and you could kill two birds at one time? Would that change the survey results?
Doubtful.
According to the survey, women would rather just sit quietly, meditatively, doing nothing, before having Sex. I didn’t make that up. It’s in the poll.
That is sad ladies, and it is the reason that men and women are as awkward as a shirtless Newt Gingrich at Lillith Fair.
By contrast, given 15 extra minutes, Men would opt to have sex by an overwhelming margin. Granted most men only need 2 minutes and would waste the other 13 minutes talking about something that drives you crazy, but still, we are what we are.
Cavemen can only do so much. Multi Tasking is not a frontal lobe high priority.
According to the survey; men also like to sleep. They picked that as their 2nd most favorite way to waste 15 minutes.
I suspect that is the percent of men who know that nothing else can possibly take place in their bedroom.
Sleep or sex? Easy answer. Like asking a dog whether it wants milk bones or a doggie dentist? The answer is obvious.
Then the poll asked, what bothers you most about your significant other when it comes to wasting time.
Women overwhelmingly say the number one waste of time; watching their significant other play video games.
I get that ladies. Men do tend to obsess over games like Call of Duty. It’s an isolated love affair with computer generated mistresses.
I realize your man staring, transfixed, salivating silently like a tranquilized zombie is not sexy.
I think it goes back to the tidal pool of evolution. Men were the hunter gathers. Since we can no longer storm the castle and beat our chests, perhaps we over compensate by staring mindlessly at the flat screen and fighting our battles in cyber space.
By contrast, Men overwhelming voted that women waste more time getting dressed and preparing to get dressed.
You women know you will stand in front of a closet full of clothes and stare at it wondering what to wear.
“I can’t wear that blue dress with those shoes. It’ll clash.”
My hair looks terrible. What color lipstick goes with this eye shadow….
PLEASE….
So in conclusion, based on the survey results. I would say that half the marriages out there are doomed to fail. The good news? Half the marriages out there will survive.
Sleep well America, or don’t. It’s up to you.
and that’s crazy.