You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Old Maid.
It’s the card game from our youth.
The Queen of Spades is the old maid. If you get stuck with the old maid you lose. It’s a little like life right fellas?
I’m sitting around the table playing with three teenagers. It’s a goofy game that’s as cool as pink golf pants at a retirement home.
We could have played Black Jack or Mexican Train or something more hip, but we are playing old Maid, a game for children.
And we are laughing hysterically because Old Maid takes a little poker skill, that my eldest son apparently lacks.
You see, you either have the old maid or someone is trying to entice you to pick the old maid from their hand.
It’s luck of the draw if you get the Old Maid. But if you do get it, you should be reserved, cool.
You need to be stoic like a Nordic Ice Princess, so that nobody is sure who has the card and nobody is wary of picking from anyone else.
But that is not how my son plays the game. If and when he picks the Old Maid everyone knows it. He is more theatrical than a junior high Othello. His eyes grow wide with horror and he usually curses under his breath.
He falls out of his seat laughing, screaming “I got the old maid” so everyone knows he has it.
“Dude, you need a poker face. Don’t let everyone know you have the old maid. Nobody’s gonna pick from you.”
“What?” he says with the grin of an extra on Hee Haw. “I don’t have the old maid.”
“Yeah right.”
It just so turns out my oldest son is an Old Maid magnet. Not with real women, but with playing cards. He is either dealt the Old Maid to begin the game or he obtains the old maid on his first pick.
It’s hilarious the way he tries to get the other players to pick the Old Maid. He pushes that card high above the others in his hand. He tries to hand it to them. It’s as obvious as a long line at the DMV.
The other players of course avoid him like he has a festering case of poison oak.
Old Maid is a simple game that can reveal a lot about a person. Are you sneaky, are you calculating? Are you able to remain calm under pressure. Or are you a bright Hawaiian shirt blowing in a gale force wind? Do you blurt out your every thought in your head? Is your every emotion an open book?
There is no right or wrong. It’s just a simple child’s game that offers an interesting glimpse into the inner workings of people.
The Old Maid.
That is crazy.